Greetings!
I am Sándor Szabados, a crisis counselling psychologist and an addictive behaviours counseling psychologist Family and couples therapist, in training. I have been working as a skilled helper for twenty years.
“We are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is.”
Mark Vonnegut
APPLIED METHODOLOGY
Mentalisation-Based Counselling (MBT)
Mentalisation is the ability to understand our own and others’ feelings and behaviour, as well as the motivations behind them. It’s something we all use—often unconsciously—when we interpret the world, reflect on our thoughts and emotions, and try to understand those of others. Balanced mentalisation means recognising how we influence others and how they influence us. It involves distinguishing between our emotions and our thoughts and understanding how each affects the other. In practice, this means approaching others with curiosity and empathy, while holding back assumptions about what they might think or feel. Instead of projecting our beliefs onto them, we remain open and inquisitive—adopting a stance of 'not knowing.' When mentalisation becomes unbalanced, we tend to react impulsively rather than reflectively. We may become overly self-focused, anxious, or preoccupied with external signs of danger, interpreting situations based on appearances or assumptions. Our emotions may dominate our thinking, or we may detach from feelings altogether and rely solely on reasoning. Restoring balance in mentalisation helps us regulate emotions, appreciate different perspectives, and foster cooperation and healthy relationships.
Addiction Counselling
The word 'addiction' originates from the Latin 'addictus', meaning 'enslaved.' This captures the essence of addiction: losing control over a substance or behaviour that begins to dominate one’s life, often at the expense of health, relationships, and personal freedom. Substance addictions may include alcohol, drugs, or other mind-altering substances. Behavioural addictions include problematic smartphone or social media use, video gaming, compulsive shopping, gambling, workaholism, or exercise addiction. Addiction counselling helps clients understand the role of addiction in their lives and the pain or unmet needs that fuel it. Together, the psychologist and client explore the deeper reasons behind dependence and work to replace it with healthier ways of coping. The process draws on integrative, interdisciplinary methods—from psychology and community addiction work to recreation and bibliotherapy. The ultimate goal is to help the client regain autonomy, rebuild meaning, and live free from addiction.
Existential approach
All nine billion of us have the same fate. We are going to witness our own and each other’s ephemeral existence, and one day we are going to die. What to do about the crippling horror caused by the knowledge that death is inevitable? What should I do about the obligation to bring a series of decisions that are going to define my degree of freedom? How can I handle the burden of individual responsibility arising from my decisions? What to do about the feeling of isolation, knowing that I am one and irreplaceable among the billions? How to find a purpose in life?
Crisis Counselling
The word 'crisis' originates from the Greek term for a turning point or moment of decision. Crises are an inevitable part of life—they bring both danger and opportunity for growth. Developmental or normative crises arise naturally at different stages of life (adolescence, young adulthood, midlife, old age). When we navigate these transitions successfully, we grow and become more capable of facing future challenges. When we struggle, our growth may stall, and difficulties such as adjustment problems or unhealthy coping mechanisms—like substance use, addiction, or avoidance—may emerge. Recurring crises often indicate that our personality is adapting to a situation that once felt unacceptable. Accidental or non-normative crises involve unexpected losses or shocks, such as breakups, divorce, financial hardship, unemployment, illness, accidents, or bereavement. Depending on the nature and intensity of the crisis, the counsellor uses tailored intervention tools. Together with the client, the psychologist explores past and present life stages, identifying links between earlier experiences and current difficulties. The work focuses on setting meaningful goals, strengthening coping strategies, and helping the client regain a sense of control and perspective. The aim is not only to recover from the crisis, but also to uncover previously untapped inner resources for adaptation and growth.
Mentoring & Coaching
At the start of the Trojan War, Odysseus entrusted the upbringing of his son, Telemachus, to the care of his close friend and comrade, Mentor. Throughout the years, Mentor raised, protected and counseled the young Telemachus as his ward. Of all the stages in life, it is perhaps the twenties that poses the hardest challenge to the young generation, when the intervention of a wise counselor may prove crucial. This counselor must be a person of considerable experience and integrity, whose supportive attitude can serve as an efficient guidance in overcoming the characteristic difficulties of this life stage, encouraging the fulfillment of individual potential and the healthy development of personality.
Family and Couple Therapy
Every person is part of a system—no one exists in isolation. Family and couple therapy is based on the systemic approach, which views problems not as individual flaws but as patterns within relationships. When one member of the family changes—whether due to life events like the birth of a child, adolescence, separation, job loss, illness, or death—the entire system is affected. Families consist of subsystems (parents, partners, children, grandparents), each with its own functions and boundaries. Healthy boundaries allow family members to support one another while maintaining individuality. When rules become too rigid or too blurred, dysfunction can arise. Similarly, unclear or unfulfilled roles within the family can lead to imbalance and conflict. In therapy, the family therapist helps members explore how their interactions and roles affect one another. Together, they clarify problems, uncover underlying patterns, and work toward a more functional, satisfying family dynamic. The therapist and family (or couple) agree on clear goals and collaborate toward achieving them.
Areas of Support:
Addiction Counselling:
– Alcohol or drug dependence
– Behavioural addictions: smartphone or social media use, video gaming, compulsive shopping, gambling
Life Transitions and Crises:
– Separation from family of origin
– Commitment or relationship crises
– Challenges finishing studies or finding work
– Difficulty integrating into a professional role
– Midlife transitions
Career and Personal Development:
– Career change and decision-making
– Self-knowledge and personal growth
Family and Relationship Issues:
– Relationship conflicts and communication problems
– Infidelity, divorce, or breakup
– Avoidance of intimacy or emotional distance
– Family therapy and couple counselling
Workplace and Emotional Well-Being:
– Workplace conflicts, bullying, or mobbing
– Burnout prevention and recovery
Mentalisation-based counselling
Existential or meaning crises
What to expect at the first meeting?
I consider it important to spend the first meeting with defining the issue as exactly as possible. We are going to use this time with mapping the underlying reasons and recurring patterns that may make it impossible to find an efficient solution to the situation. Next, we shall agree about what and how we propose to achieve, and what my role will be in this process. Pinning down the objectives of our sessions takes both of us.
FRAMEWORK
The framework of psychological counseling
By default, counseling includes one session per week and sessions last 50 minutes.
Relationship counseling for couples lasts 60 minutes.
The frequency and length of sessions can be adjusted by agreement.
Online counseling is available via Zoom/FaceTime/Teams connection.
CANCELLATION POLICY
Cancellations up to 48 hours before the scheduled session are free of charge.
Sessions cancelled within 48 hours are considered held and will be invoiced together with the next session.
Contact
If you decide to contact me by e-mail, please briefly describe the problem that you wish to work on with my help, and indicate the time you desire for our meeting (please include several options).
Contact information
1131 Budapest, Csuka utca 2.
Telefon: +36 30/684-9189
Email: tanacsadas@szabadossandor.hu
Skype: szabados.sandor